|This was a conversation me an' Ronnie (bad
grammar alert! bad grammar alert! shut up) had a while ago... I think it was towards
the beginning of Summer '99. Anyway, it just demonstrates the fact that, at rare
moments, our trains of thought seem to be following the same course. Man, it's
almost scary... Ronnie! Get off my track!! Well, no, on second
thought, don't... it gets lonely sometimes.
By the way, I'm JMSPOOFE
and Ronnie's KuroKirin.
And the precedence of this segment of conversation was about how much I dislike
Anime (I do, you know) and Ronnie saying that she loves me more than anything and would
love to have sex with me (okay, that part's a lie... give me something, okay?!?)
JMSPOOFE: Right.... I spend my energy
things, like..... college.... and work.... and
KuroKirin: yeah, the important stuff
JMSPOOFE: Right. The studd that everyone
JMSPOOFE: Oops.... stuff....
JMSPOOFE: Well, "D's" do kinda
JMSPOOFE: If you were stoned.....
JMSPOOFE: And drunk......
JMSPOOFE: And blind.....
KuroKirin: and standing on your head
JMSPOOFE: And comatose.
KuroKirin: and married to a gorilla named
JMSPOOFE: A transexual gorilla named Lou.
KuroKirin: with tendancies toward
JMSPOOFE: But only on Tuesdays and
KuroKirin: and not if it was raining the
JMSPOOFE: While the redcoats invaded.
KuroKirin: (becasue then the bodies smell)
JMSPOOFE: And the puritans ate the toaster
KuroKirin: bot the toaster oven's cousin
them for revenge
JMSPOOFE: And then took his own life
because he forgot to turn off the gas.
KuroKirin: ...which was provided by the safe
natural bovine methane resources in the midwest
JMSPOOFE: The bovines, of course, we
ground up, mixed with boot rubber, and sold by
the ton to McDonalds.
KuroKirin: ..and that's only what's in the
JMSPOOFE: The Big Macs, of course, were
made from big, gay prison inmates named (of
KuroKirin: who were ex lovers of lou the
JMSPOOFE: And Lou was upset by that...
that's why all the Mac's ended up as hamburgers.
KuroKirin: but lou had his way with their
JMSPOOFE: Because it hadn't rained the
KuroKirin: ....and somehow, the d's still
look like f's
JMSPOOFE: Unless you were stoned.....
KuroKirin: off ball bearings
JMSPOOFE: That've been thoroughly
marinated with whale semen.
KuroKirin: who were excited by watching paul
JMSPOOFE: Who was busy making out with
Oscar the Grouch.
KuroKirin: in the backseat of a 1958 pontiac
JMSPOOFE: Painted hot pink.
KuroKirin: with a decal that says "I
JMSPOOFE: And let's not forget the
blood-stained fuzzy dice hanging in the rear-view
KuroKirin: and the blood came from the nose
of a guatamalan foot soldier after a visit from his
JMSPOOFE: The bookie, of course, was
KuroKirin: and paul newman and oscar ran
over him in the pontiac becasue they're secretly
working for mcdonalds
JMSPOOFE: And then Lou comes along....
KuroKirin: and stands in the midle of the
JMSPOOFE: And then Stella comes and
performs a strip tease under a strobe light....
KuroKirin: but the audience is indignant and
throws whale semen covered ball bearings at her
JMSPOOFE: She slips and falls into the
orchestra, getting her substantial ass caught in a
KuroKirin: (do'h I dissapeared to talk
to danielle, and lost my train of thought) :(
JMSPOOFE: And then a short guy with hairy
feet ran by screaming "The Eagles are coming!
The Eagles are coming!!"
KuroKirin: then the eagles come, and pull
out of the tuba
JMSPOOFE: The short guy, however, trips and
falls into an exposed manhole.
KuroKirin: where he is abducted by mutant
who are conspiring to take over the us
JMSPOOFE: Through manipulation of the
KuroKirin: on all of the financial movings
JMSPOOFE: And certain strains of E-coli
KuroKirin: which are being sold as viagra
JMSPOOFE: And as an ingredient to
McDonald's secret sauce on their Big Macs.
KuroKirin: to hide the taste of burnt human
JMSPOOFE: And the tamperings of Lou
KuroKirin: heh heh, "tamperings"
JMSPOOFE: Lou sheds a lot.
KuroKirin: meanwhile, Lou has discovered the
secret to time trave
JMSPOOFE: He travels back to twenty
minutes ago to find out how this trippy
KuroKirin: ..and wonders if we are both
and upside down and unconscious
KuroKirin: but not married to him which
explains why the d's dont look like fs
JMSPOOFE: So, avoiding all the problems that
arise with ball-bearings marinated in whale
semen, he continues traveling back to the
KuroKirin: and founds the black panthres (!)
JMSPOOFE: He wanted to call it the Black
Gorillas, but that name was unfortunately taken
by a French Commando Unit, and nobody wants
to copy the French...
KuroKirin: becasue they smell like what's
growing under lou's arms
JMSPOOFE: And that's being nice, too...
KuroKirin: they were a very successful
commando unit for this reason, however
KuroKirin: no on e could come within 10 feet
without being stunned by the vapors
JMSPOOFE: Except for Playboy Bunnies, so it
was a happy French Commando Unit
KuroKirin: but the bunnies left, becaue they
sick of the frenchment saying wahhawhaw....so
instead they were joined by a team of sweedish
JMSPOOFE: Who were employed by Lou
during his exploits back in the swingin' '60s, but
were in no way connected with necrofelia
KuroKirin: instead, they were the
behind teh campaign to return all gorillas to the
wild...so lou fired them
JMSPOOFE: So they got themselves hired with
McDonald's and ended up grinding up large
prison in-mates named Mac in the future....
KuroKirin: (I'm running out of steam...)
JMSPOOFE: So Lou began boiling up some
water for Ronnie, because he's the ever-helpful
servant for beautiful ladies.....
KuroKirin: but ronnie decides instead to buy
some stock in Lou's company, and forget about
JMSPOOFE: The stock plummets suddenly,
due to the dropping price of pure Vanilla extract.
KuroKirin: in which case, ronnie then goes
closet, grabs her gold cord and hangs herself
KuroKirin: or just goes offline to go to
she does have finals tomorrow
JMSPOOFE: So SPOOFE nods and says
KuroKirin: yo. Ronnie takes several seconds
make her final bows to the audience...
JMSPOOFE: SPOOFE takes several seconds
to take Ronnie's hand and deliver a little smooch.
KuroKirin: ..and, to the cheers of the crowd
and displays of gallantry on the part of the
SPOOFE, ronnie dissapears
JMSPOOFE: Good night, and good luck.