Top Ten Predictions for 2000
M & M’s in the commercials begin saying, “Ha!
We psyched you all out! The
REAL New Millenium doesn’t start until NEXT year!”
presidential race will see a great upset when Christ comes and sends all
the politicians to burn in the smoldering depths of Hell.
announcing that its systems weren’t affected in any manner by Y2K,
Government agencies begin posting billion-dollar orders for alfalfa and
Lucas announces that Episode 2 will have the introduction of Darth Binks,
“just as he always intended it to be”.
officials release a report that they have discovered an anomaly on the
Moon, which, according to the report, is “big, black, and rather
obelisk-like”. NASA then
release plans to send a mission to Jupiter.
a true example of birds of a feather flocking together, Michael Jackson
weds Dennis Rodman.
is declared to be part of the pornography industry when a new Pokemon,
named “Trousnake”, billed as “the TRUE Pocket Monster”, is
introduced, along with the female version simply named “Pussee”.
Manson goes country.
2. Following massive global unrest and war, a new regime will rise to power, bringing order and strength to the planet as the population lauds the wisdom and greatness of Emperor Ventura.
1. The Olympics in Sydney show the largest turnout in history when the Australians showcase their newest event: Dingo Raping.
Make with the leaving already!