To Spin or not To Spin... You Decide... (by Sam Boxleitner)

For thousands and thousands of years people have felt the need to rest their legs and backs by sitting down. Back when man was young and living in caves, people sat on the hard, stone cold floor. Thes spawned many back problems such as achy back and scholiosis, which at the time did indeed threaten the future of mankind. Then came a new era, a dawning of a new age; people found rocks to sit on. These ancient piles of compressed sand were indeed the first chairs. Centuries passed, and the developments in chair technologies grew in leaps and bounds. No longer was mankind a group of hairy, hunched over apes, but were now proud, straightened, stinky Europeans. Well, the ones in Europe were anyway. People began using their brains in ways like never before. They used tools to make chairs more comfortable and pretty to look at. Soon there were matching kitchen sets that came with a table. But soon a dilemma occurred. People needed chairs in work offices that could not only be sat in, but could rotate in a 360-degree rotation. What could be done? The answer was simple. Create a spinny-chair. Yes, this was the idea that would revolutionize the world. Because the spinny-chair could not only rotate, but slide across relatively smooth surfaces due to the extremely nifty wheels on the bottom, it became clear that spinny-chairs are far more superior to normal four-legged chairs.

Now that we have discussed why four legged chairs are inferior to spinny-chairs because of the lack of the hydraulic lifting level which enables a person to not only raise the height of the chair but set it back down, and the really cool wheels on the bottom of the chair that enables a person to slide from here to there without even having to get up, it can be plainly seen that spinny-chairs are far greater than their predecessors the four legged chair I foresee a new era of mankind. An era where not only are all chair spin/slide capable, but have proellers harnessed from the bottom which could be used to take us to discover knew and undiscovered planets.