To Spin or not To Spin... Part Deux...
(Written by SPOOFE Bo Diddly)
|Some people prefer the four-legged kind, some
prefer the spinny kind. The four-legged kind do have some advantages; you could lean
up against a wall with them, for instance. But the spinny kind are vastly
superior. Not only can you lean in them, but you don't need a wall!
Think of the possibilities for that; those that have leaned against a wall in a
four-legged chair know what kind of a rish it can bring; now imagine the rush it can bring
without the wall! We're talking orgasmic pleasure here! And that's not all,
folks... spinny chairs can also spin. And roll. They can spin and roll.
Wheels allow them to slide across surfaces, and a complex hinge system allows them to
rotate 360 degrees, and more. The possibilities for how much you can spin are
endless, providing for hours of entertainment.
Hoowever, despite the unlimited fun and excitement that spinny chairs provide, a four-legger just sits there. It does nothing. While one may be good in a pinch, say, when you're out walking and your feet get tired, well, if a spinny chair isn't around, a four-legger will do. Until you're rested, of course. But a spinny chair; oh the glory! The sensation! No longer must we use chairs only when we need to. Now, we can spend our whole lives in a spinny chair. From birth 'til death we can roll around, spin for hours on end until we puke, and lean; lean without walls. We can enter roller derby's, we can roll on the beach without getting sand in our shoes, and what spurned the creation of other such wheeled devices, such as cars, bicycles, and tanks? Why, spinny chairs, of course. And hospital gurney's; they've saved hundreds, if not thousands, of lives. And their design, with wheels, came from the spinny chair. Bless you, spinny chair!
But we must respect the four-legged chair; without it, it's doubtful that rocks could have evolved into spinny chairs. Let us put our four-legged chairs in a museum, where future generations can look on them with awe, and wonder how we primitive peoples could have ever survived in such a cruel, cruel world. However, let us not abandon our three-legged chairs, also known as "stools". They allows us to rest our feet while in a spinny chair; when one leans back, the feet are lifted off the ground and can cause discomfort. However, spinny chairs are still too much like the accursed four-leggers that have plagued mankind for generations. Let us build spinny recliners, and forever throw off the oppressive yoke of four-legged chairs!
Hop in the catapult and go back!
Copyright © 2000 JMSPOOFE. All rights reserved.