Ah, another Halloween rolls around. Time to don your masks and go demand free sugar-and-fat-laden treats. Time to carve up a pumpkin. Time for little kids to make stupid jokes about all the ugly and fat kids wearing their costumes prematurely. In short, time for the traditional holiday waste and bluster.

Something that I’ve been wondering about is why people pass out candy anymore. A century ago, it was because they feared some sort of prank if a goody wasn’t delivered; hence the term, "Trick or Treat". But nowadays, you don’t have to answer the door. Nobody even bothers egging a house if candy isn’t given out anymore. Why risk getting arrested, or worse, getting shot at by some white-trash Republican with too much affection for gun shows? There’s no more "Halloween Spirit". It got sucked away the second the malls took possession of the holiday. The only purpose for the continuation for Halloween is that it gives people an excuse to party. You can create a holiday called "Shit-head Asshole Day" and everyone would throng to it if they got the chance to act crazy.

People get so wrapped up in Halloween, buy into all the media hype that goes on around with it. I’m no exception, of course, I enjoy all the media hype. But I don’t try to fool myself. I realize what Halloween really is and I don’t try to give it wannabe meanings. Religious nuts say it’s celebrating "All-Saints Day". Goth fanatics conform together and say they’re worshiping the forces of darkness. Party animals say they’re just showing spirit. As ol’ Scrooge would say, "Bah! Humbug!" What he’d mean is, "Stop spouting bullshit, you just wanna act like a fool." By all means, bring on the foolishness... it’s good for the soul. Foolishness is a breath of fresh air. But don’t call it something that it’s not. Don’t say the fresh air is perfume.

Do I seem bitter? I am, just a bit. Holidays have taken on meanings that they shouldn’t have. A holiday is a chance to relax from one’s labors. A holiday is a chance to take a break. A holiday, going by the original sense of the word, is a time of religious festival. Holidays in the contemporary sense are none of these. They’re times of headache and fatigue and aggression and agitation and nobody relaxes in the slightest when a holiday rolls around. And when the holiday passes, they complain about the weight they gained, swearing to lose those five extra pounds by the next holiday.

Halloween follows this guideline. Most people rush to put up decoration that they’ve had for fifteen years, spend weeks trying to think up a new costume only to use the one that they’ve used for the past seven Halloweens (and, frankly, everyone’s getting sick of it), make preparations for some party or another, buy up candy, trinkets, and crappy Halloween pencils, then when the big day comes along, the Great Pumpkin doesn’t show, the big Halloween bash fizzles, and they wake up the next morning bloated and with a hangover... then they take down all the Halloween decorations and start putting up all the Thanksgiving junk that they’ve had for fifteen years...

There should be a single year in which there are no holidays. That’d put some sort of spirit back into all of ‘em. It’s said that people can’t experience joy without experiencing misery; how can we truly enjoy a holiday if we always get ‘em? Wouldn’t we enjoy them more, cherish them more, honor them more if there was a risk that we didn’t have them? Isn’t that what a holiday is about? To feel like you’ve gotten a much-deserved and much-needed vacation, rather than a new hassle that society has thrust upon you?

Halloween especially makes people sink to new lows. They either spend a week preparing an elaborate costume, thinking they’re being so original, or they throw something together at the last minute, thinking they’re being spontaneous and... original. One of my favorite expressions comes in three little words: "IT’S BEEN DONE". There’s nothing new in life. It’s just all the old stuff re-packaged and re-shipped to the masses.

It’s all one big masquerade; that’s why Halloween is so popular. People are so comfortable putting one masks and acting phony that a holiday that makes the practice legit is sure to be a real winner. In fact, the only holiday that’s more popular is the one in which people get a ton of free stuff that they "deserve". But being able to hide behind the safety of an outer shell and pretend to be something they’re not attracts people like flies. They spend all their lives doing it, and Halloween is the one day of the year that they can take off they’re masks by putting one on.

It’s all human nature, of course. I don’t care what a person says. The more they deny their nature, the more they’re controlled by it. Here’s an example: Me. I know what my nature is. I know my nature is to respond to anger with anger. I know my nature is to respond to kindness with kindness. I know my nature is to respond to stupidity with a good shmack upside the head. I’m very two-sided. Not two-faced, mind you, that’s a different story. I have the one side that has worked up a positive image of myself, then I have the other side that has worked up a realistic image of myself. It’s funny; whenever I refer to my realistic image, everyone assumes I’m being depressed and rush in with soothing words. I know several people who are just completely incapable of saying anything negative about me to my face, even if it’s true, and even if it’s something I need to hear, or even something I ASK TO HEAR. I often turn towards my friends for insight into my own character... but come up completely empty because they’re too afraid of causing offense... and all the while, I know what they’re thinking, because they’re actions speak novels to me.

It’s all human nature. Hide behind masks. Don’t upset anyone. People, by nature, are social animals... they want to be involved, they want to fit in. Even the most outrageous and anti-social want their own unique niche... they just haven’t found it yet.

Whenever a holiday comes around, it’s another of the many reminders that people, myself included, take too much for granted. Now, before you think I’m being preachy, let me explain. There’re the things that everyone says is taken for granted... a roof over your head, three hots ‘n a cot, and all that. We live in a society that practically gives us that. Of course we take it for granted. But other things. The little things. Holidays, for one. On Halloween, everyone’s so ravenously consumed with trying to find the coolest costume or putting together the perfect party and they forget what Halloween is. About half the people I know can tell me how Halloween started... very few of them could tell me how it progressed. How it developed. Basically, nobody, not even myself, knows "what went wrong". No, that’s the wrong choice of words. It should be, "What the hell happened to Halloween?"

Commercialism. It became a target for the media, a target to wrap all this hype around it and sell it off to the public one piece at a time. Most people blame "those media jackals" for "taking advantage of people". Well, the media’s an easy target. But what gave rise to the media? What created it? If you get down to the specifics, it was Joe Average demanding a bit more pizzazz in his life. Going back to human nature... it’s human nature to want to get ahead. It’s human nature to want to improve ones’ own position in life. Of course the wants of the average person are going to be taken advantage of. Manipulated. Twisted. Controlled. If Ted Turner hadn’t created CNN, someone else would’ve.

The absolute degradation, and also the absolute fate, for Halloween was for Trick-or-Treating to be moved inside of a mall. In my neighborhood, for example, I consider Halloween to be dead. Why? There’s plenty of children around. They’re always freaking out our cats and jumping in front of cars. But on Halloween, they disappear. They head over to Topanga Plaza. And their parents go with them. Not only does nobody go T.o.T.-ing anymore, they’re not receptive to those that do. It’s one thing if you don’t want to celebrate Halloween; simply come to the door and say "I’m sorry, I don’t have any candy." Maybe they can’t afford it. And for Josta’s Sake, don’t make any candy apples, you’ll have parents claiming that you put strychnine or razor blades in ‘em. And don’t invite the kids in, either; can you say "Child Molestation"? But, anyway, I digress. The worst thing to do to a little kid is to completely ignore them on Halloween. Breaks their heart. It’s completely cool to shatter the hopes and dreams of someone older... probably around the age of 18 it becomes permissible. But little kids have a certain amount of gullibility that they’re entitled to.

Of course, many people stretch this gullibility (they call it "innocence") to the breaking point. They hide behind this facade of immaturity and indifference, disguise it with big words and no-brainer "philosophy", and pretend like they’re The Elite of The Elite. It’s like trying to build a 747 Jumbo Jet with the propulsion power of a two-person prop-plane. It looks impressive, most definitely, and it’s easy-as-hell to get together, but it never gets off the ground (probably won’t get motional). A little immaturity never hurt anyone; I use it extensively myself. The harm comes when, once again, it’s pretended to be something it’s not. Immaturity is immaturity, not imagination or creativity or playfulness or (need I shudder?) "Being young at heart".

The philosophy I follow is what I call "Don’t-be-an-ass"ism. Want to hear it? Well, if you don’t, you shouldn’t have read this far anyway. It states that you accept that you and the world around you is inherently flawed. It also states that you can’t change those flaws. It continues to state that you can instead work around those flaws. Of course, to discover these flaws, you need to rely on others. Self-examination can only take you so far. However, the trouble arises when people don’t want to admit (or, it seems, are incapable of admitting) that flaws exist. Especially within you. When asked for an "honest opinion", many people clam up. They can’t provide an honest opinion, even for the sake of improving a friend, because they can only see the possible short-term effects... that is, causing insult and offense. They can’t see the benefits. And when a person is given the same honesty... honesty meant for construction purposes... they see only the fact that they have just been insulted, and their indignation prevents them from receiving any benefits from the constructive criticism.

Holidays are abused. People follow their nature. They is what they is. No amount of words can gloss over their actions. And for the love of Spam, don’t ever do anything politically incorrect!! You’ll be ostracized for life!!

That last part was sarcasm, by the way.