NEWS

5/18/04: It has been over a year since I updated. Many things have happened to me, most of which nobody will ever hear about, and I like it that way. Actually, I've been working a lot, and writing a lot... scripts, mostly, things that I wouldn't put on my webpage. However, I did write a new essay, a treatise on my annoyance with political arguments and pettiness.

2/1/03: Today shall live in infamy. The vicious Zortrellian Hordes of planet Xerxes IX launched a brutal attack on the Terran Colony of Praxamus Prime, slaughtering millions of men, women, children, and hermaphrodites. Their ships were commencing mop-up operations when the human fleet managed to counter attack, hoping to catch the Zortrellians with their furgbs down... unfortunately, Terran Intel (a subgroup of Intel Inc.) failed to realize that the Zortrellians had entered into an alliance with the Dibbrens... and the Dibbren fleet, consisting of oddly shaped vessels, tore the Terran battle group a new one.

In response to this action, I've added a new feature to my webpage, where the main page will load a different title image randomly (go ahead... press reload a whole buncha times on the main page). I'm also offering a huge cash prize of zero dollars and zero cents to anyone that can figure out just how many different images will load (hint: at this time, it's greater than 15 but less than 17).

1/26/03: It's been a long time since I last updated. A REALLY long time. A painfully long time, almost. ANYway, Happy New Year, yadda yadda yadda... on my dedicated Artwork Page, I added a third page of art images, almost completing the listing of all my drawings that go up (I have about another thirty to place, and then I can start putting up photographs...). Anyway, I MIGHT get back in the groove of maintaining this website, but I'm not going to make any promises... every time I do, there's a longer and longer interval between updates.

PLUS, I updated the Quote List (as usual), plus made a few tweakings on some other pages around the site. I'm also planning on revamping the Roster (again) so's it's not so... out of date, as it were.

8/31/02: Well, school's almost started again. Woohoo. Anyhoo, I've got three things updated today (well, one was updated a while ago but I forgot to mention it): First, I updated the Quote List... Second, I added a spiffy Javascript to my art gallery, so that each individual image loads up in its own window... and Third, I added a second page of images to the art gallery, making 50 pictures uploaded, total.

8/18/02: Another update! Wow, I'm on a roll! Anyway, after a long absence, I finally have picturs online for everyone's pleasure again. Since I don't have enough webspace here to show them, I created another Tripod site specifically dedicated to my artwork. I'll be adding more to it as time passes.

8/16/02: An update! After almost three months with no new material, I have a new story online! My apologies for neglecting this page... I was discouraged because Tripod lowered my webspace amount from 50 megabytes to only 20, which necessitated that I remove all of my drawings and photos. I am currently seeking a new place to put them.

5/20/02: Updated my Links page. Man, now I know why I kept putting it off...

In other news, I have a new computer monitor... Viewsonic 19" Flatscreen. Suh-weet.

5/19/02: Well, it's been a long time since an update, but I think I have a good excuse: Due to human error - SPOOFEy error, actually - I lost all the contents of my hard drive. Photos, writings, my entire fucking novel... everything. Gone. So I've been slowly picking up the pieces (not very successfully) and I've been too depressed to do much artistic work... but as it is, I finally updated the Quote List. That'll have to do until my next big update... I plan on redoing the entire artwork section.

3/30/02: I just gave a bit of attention to the most neglected category on my webpage... I updated the "About Me" section. Woohoo. Now people can get to know the real me! Yeah. Really. A few paragraphs of reading, and you'll know all there is to know about me. I'm serious. Dead serious. Trust me on this one.

3/25/02: After over a month and a half of absence (hey, I've been working on a show), I finally got around to dealing with this damned webpage (hey, Brian, you fuckhead, you happy now?!? YOU HAPPY?!?!?). Anyhoos, I put a crapload of new stuff in the Quote List. That's about it, really.

2/9/02: A BRAND NEW STORY!!!! Well, okay, it was a dream I had, but I put it over in the Stories section because it's so storyfull. And, additionally, because Brian Harris is a whining little pussy who can't live without a Quote List update... I went and updated the Quote List.

Anyway, I'm going to be gone for a week due to ACTF... so expect a huge photo update when I get back.

1/23/02: A larger update. A whole new page in the Photo Gallery... pictures taken from when the Done To Death people gathered together in Malibu Creek State Park.

1/21/02: A small update... over in the Miscellaneous Section, I added the celebration photo from Operation Fancy Feast.

1/14/02: And a week later, another update (I should put more effort into this webpage, I really should). Anyhoo, over in the Photo Gallery, I added a few pictures from our New Year's Party at Kia's house. Go and catch a glimpse of our collective insanity.

1/7/02: Happy New Year, and all that crap. Yeah, I know, it's been over a month since I updated the ol' webpage (bite me, Brian). Anyhoo, I put up a nice big entry of photographs of the Done To Death people (the Ballyhoo people can wait).

12/3/01: A big day for updates! First, the Roster got a bunch of new stuff... new pictures, new entries, and a new title graphic. Second, the Quote List got a pretty big update, too, with cameos from Erin, and Scott's urinary tract.

11/13/01: A multiple update today! First, I redid the Photo Gallery page. Second, I added a new page of photographs, taken mostly amidst Pierce people in the past few months. Thirdly... (wait for it)... I updated the Quote List.

11/5/01: Finally, finally, FINALLY I updated photos from the Dopetoberfest.

10/12/01: Another update to the Quote List, along with the start of my brand-spanking-new title graphics. In fact, there's a new one for this News section, too. Quite splendid, I think.

10/6/01: Wow. The main page looks different, doesn't it? Good. I think I've finally found a format that works for me. If this work ethic streak continues, I'll be going through the whole site and updating everything. Wish me luck...

10/4/01: Another update to the Quote List. The two shows at Pierce (The Last Night of Ballyhoo and Done To Death) have started picking in terms of rehearsals, so updates will become infrequent again.

9/20/01: More Photo Gallery updates.

9/18/01: Well, I finally got around to updated my long-neglected Photo Gallery, adding a dozen images from various points in the past several months. Enjoy. I also added a few more tidbits to the Quote List.

9/15/01: Hey, since the guy was so wonderful to us Americans, I've decided to procure a little present for Osama bin Laden himself.

9/11/01: "A day which shall (also) live in infamy." Unless you live in a cave, you would know that terrorists attacked the World Trade Center in New York City. For what it's worth, I have written up some of my thoughts on the subject, here.

9/10/01: Wow, three updates in a row. Anyway, I completed my in-depth analysis of The Wizard Of Oz, the show we put on over the summer. Also, I updated the Quote List.

9/9/01: Added more stuff to the Roster. More names, more faces, and an even longer loading time.

9/8/01: Y'know, I completely skipped over the whole month of August. Where was I? Well, I'll tell you the truth... I traveled into the future. That's right, on July 26th, I traveled directly to September 8th... so, for all intents and purposes, I didn't exist. Got it? Splendid.

Now, I've actually updated something... the Roster. Now there's even more eye-candy for your bored little peepers to stare at. And I decided to go back to the retro look. In fact, I'll be returning the whole page to the retro look. I thought this new format would work out, but... well... it didn't. Oh well.

7/25/01: Well, unless you're either stupid or stupid, you'd notice that I've altered the appearance of my webpage's main title screen. I think it's apt. I've been meaning to change it around for a while... whattaya think? Aw, who cares what you think. Anyway, the Quote Page has been updated with a few quotes taken from the show. Some of the new people to make the list are members of the Wizard of Oz cast.

Speaking of The Wizard of Oz, we have one more weekend to go, and then I can REALLY go about updating the site. I plan on more appearance changes, and a new essay about the show, and the misery of working on such.

7/7/01: Updated the Quote List. Unfortunately, the show at Pierce has diminished my creative desire for a while, so updates will be few and far between.

6/13/01: 'Tis my birthday.

6/8/01: Added a few new pictures over in the Roster.

6/3/01: Well, I've had an interesting day. School's out, the show (Wizard of Oz, for those of you who are curious) is about to start in earnest, and I've had an epiphany. The results of my  thoughts can be found here.

5/21/01: I added some new material over in the Archive... Casting Calls. Expect me to put more stuff there as time goes by.

5/16/01: I updated the links section, as well as the main title banner (do you like it? That's me pretending to be creepy! And no, I'm NOT very sunburned...)

4/29/01: Updated my Photo Gallery. Got a few great pictures of Flip at the talent show, among others. Oh, and I have a headache at the moment, so shower me with pity. And money. And sex.

4/28/01: Holy friggin' hell... me and Spoogie played through the game Silent Hill. That game is creepy. A damn well done game, if I do say so myself.

Anyway... I uploaded pictures from the most recent Dopefest (over in the Miscellaneous section). Go check them out, it's amazing to see that the people who inhabit the Straight Dope Message Board aren't just computer programs.

4/12/01: Finally, the Imperium Roster has been uploaded! Visit the land of Scott, Ty, and Rachel, and be afraid... be very afraid.

4/11/01: I updated my Links page a little... fixed a couple of broken links, and added a few new ones. Also, I updated the Roster, and even added a NEW MEMBER! Don't get your hopes up, people, it's just Brian Harris.

3/30/01: The Roster has been completed! Well, the main Roster, anyway... I still have other addons to work in. But, for all intents and purposes, it's done.

3/25/01: Another Quote Page update. By the way.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHRIS! (He's 20, y'know). And I got to see both he and Kia again after many many many months of absence (theirs or mine, I'm not sure which). Anyway, I think I got all the Roster information I'm gonna get... so I imagine I can start updating the damn thing soon. Probably tomorrow.

3/20/01: The Quote Page has been updated. The Roster would be finished, but I'm awaiting feedback from my agents with regards to their personal information.

3/19/01: The whole friggin' page is being updated, as I hope you can tell by this text. I also plan on redesigning the whole main page layout (new buttons, maybe a new title banner...). In any case... ::drumroll, please::... I've finally finally FINALLY updated the Imperium Roster!!! Not finished yet... but you can see what direction it's taking.

By the way, I forgot to announce a couple weeks ago that my website is ONE YEAR OLD! Woooooo! One whole year of wasted time, whining, complaining, ranting, and raving! Man... I love the Internet... ::sniff::...

3/12/01:  A new essay, this one dealing with (gasp!) a real issue... guns!  No, I'm not some reactionary shmuck who thinks they should be banned every time some nut goes on a shooting spree... see for yourself.  It's longer than many of my other ones, and a bit more "clinical" in nature... but to make up for the lowered entertainment value, I added some graphics to keep things lively, don'tcha know.

3/3/01:  Another update... over in the Miscellaneous section, I (finally) uploaded pictures from the February 24th, 2001 LA Dopefest!  No, it has nothing to do with drugs...

2/28/01:  NEW STUFF!  Wow... anyway, I put up a new story.  A far more serious piece than my usual style.  Maybe a tad overdone in terms of imagery.  Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

2/14/01:  Started updating and redesigning the Imperium Roster.  Nothing new is up yet... but hey, I work at my own pace.

2/7/01:  I haven't forgotten the site.  I put up a new title graphic, as you can see.  Also, I've started school, so I'm probably gonna be whining about that in the near future.  Lastly, I've done some housework on the site... took down some crap, thinned the herd, that sort o' thing.

1/24/01:  All right, there's somethin' new over in the Writings section, and I've added a whole buncha new pictures in the Roster.  And an announcement:  I will soon be removing all Roster entries that I have less than five pictures of, mostly 'cuz I hate having just one or two pictures of somebody.  I like being able to rotate these pictures, people!

1/20/01:  THE TRILOGY IS COMPLETE.  The Adventures of SPOOFE & Spooge, Episode VI has been completed and uploaded, over in the Stories section.  Read it, read it!  My greatest piece of literature yet, almost ten months in the making... and with a special Guest-Appearance by Brian Harris!

1/13/01:  11:30... not too late to do this, but it probably won't be noticed anyway... ::ahem::  Happy Birthday, Katharine (she's 19, y'know).  I've got a present I need to get to you, ASAP (it's big, and gets in the way in my room).

1/9/01:  I haven't forgotten y'all!  I just quit my shitty job today (though there are some I will miss... Mandy, Shea, Daniel...), so I'll have more time for a time-wasting endeavor like this.

12/23/00:  A new writing, just in time for the holiday season.   Although I have no intention of instilling Christmas cheer.

12/17/00:   An update!!!  After more than a month, an update!!  I added a whole bunch of new pictures to the Imperium Allies section, updated the Quote List, added a new ponderable to the Random Writings section, and to top things off, I finally got around to putting up my online Photo Gallery!   Hoo, doggy, what more can you ask for than that?

10/27/00:   Just short of a month since the last update.  I've got a (sucky) job, which I'm going to quite post-haste.  I uploaded another essay in the Writings section, plus I added a few more quotes to the Quote List, and added a new shmoe to the Imperium Allies listing.

10/28/00:   Another new addition to the Writings section... wow, two in a row?  Go read them (they're the bottome two on the list) and try to figure out how they relate... go ahead, I dare ya, you goat-felching rectal drip.

10/23/00:  I put up a new addition to the Writings section.   Oh, and there should be a bunch of new pictures in the Roster.

9/28/00:   Recently, I got my grubby lil' hands on a whole slew of pictures.  They had been stored in the vast vaults of Kia's closet for... oh... months.  Anyway, it took me a while, but I got the whoppin' 16 pictures stored in Drawing Gallery 3.  Go take a look.

Oh, and nobody's yet to discern what was new back on 9/13/00.  The contest is still open.  Winner gets ten SPOOFE points.

9/13/00:   Something's new here.  Try to find it... if you dare.

8/29/00:  Added two more pictures to the drawings section.

8/28/00:   Big update today.  Put in a trio of new pictures in the Drawings section, and finally put a ton of fun crap over in the Miscellaneous Crap section:  An essay about Spinny Chairs, the greatest invention in the history of mankind (written by Sam Boxleitner), by personal addition, and other stuff.  Go see!  Go see!  And... finally... added a couple new links.

8/19/00:  I put up the SPOOFE Classics section of the Art Gallery today.   Also rotated the images in the Roster and put added another person to the Imperium Allies section.

8/5/00:  As you (hopefully) can see, I made a new title graphic, along with a spiffier-looking menu bar, over there to the left.  I've also begun working on the new, improved Art Gallery (basically, I added one main page for the whole thing... and there was much rejoicing).  Tomorrow, or the day after, I should upload a whole bunch of older drawings of mine... here's hopin' I don't get a braineurysm or something.

7/28/00:  Oh boy oh boy oh boy... I put a shitload of new pictures up in the Roster, and updated the Quote List, and updated the Random Writings section.

7/1/00:  It's July!  Woohoo!  And, finally, a REAL update!  Aside from a whole bunch of new pics in the Roster (see yesterday's news), I added a crapload of new pictures over in my art gallery (find the link yourself, you lazy bum!).  AND I put a couple new images over in the "About Me" section (again, find the friggin' link yourself).   And finally, I put up a whole pile of new quotes over on the Quote List (I decided to be nice and provide the link for you this time).

6/30/00:   Ten days without an update... ::sigh::... anyway, we finally got our scanner working, so I'll be able to get tons of happy-happy stuff put into my art gallery (look for that in the next few days).  At the moment, I've uploaded several new pictures into the Roster (and have several more to put up tomorrow), AND I've added a nifty new feature... go check it out!

6/20/00:  No updates for a while.  I've been busy very recently building Katharine's website, meaning less time for this baby.  I'm going to go see Roger Waters play at the Universal Ampitheatre tomorrow, and when I get back, I'll have an update about that.

6/8/00:  Saw Gladiator today.  'Twas violent, so I liked it.  Am I the only person who had flashbacks of Spartacus while watching it?  Aw, nevermind, it was a good movie.  Anyway, there's a new, attractive entry over at the Imperium Allies.   Oh, yeah... great news here... I've begun work on The Adventures of SPOOFE And Spooge Episode VI.  Soon, the trilogy will be complete... soooooon.... heh, heh, heh....

6/5/00:   Placed some new pictures in the Roster.  Special thanks goes out to Emily for providing the material.  HEY, EM!  Send in five more and earn a promotion!

5/23/00:   Added another poem, fixed the old ones, and added a new link.  The USXWF:  Online Wrestling and Roleplaying.  JOIN US!  PLEASE!  At least go check out the site!   Tell your friends who are interested!  PLEASE!

Also, I officially signed up for the tech crew for Fiddler on the Roof.  I'll be working as second-in-command to Ty Emeterio, the jolliest scary person (or scariest jolly person) I know.  Should be a larf.

5/18/00:   Got a huge pile of new Roster pics from Aaron.  He earned himself a promotion for that... he's now the Grand Loogarg (I have no idea what that is, though).   Anyway, check out the Roster and see if you can pick out which ones are new... and which ones are used.

5/12/00:  No new updates, not really... a couple of new quotes for the Quote List, some added faces to the Imperium Allies list... I went to Prom last night, for Kia's school (it's a small school, so people who don't attend are allowed to go).  Danced my ass off, ate some food, had lots of sex... well, okay, the sex part's a lie (as always).  But I had fun, at least.

5/05/00:  My love!  My baby!  My pride and joy!  Your Daddoo has neglected you!!   Sorry for the lack of updates, folks... I've been putting all my energy into the creation of another site for the USXWF (our online wrestling federation).  Go check it out... it's not a very flashy site, but as far as I can tell, it far surpasses most other E-feds in terms of creativity.   Anyway... hmm... I've figured out how to build my own guestbook... so I don't have to rely on that GuestGEAR thing anymore.  Woozootop!

5/02/00:  I added the Quote List in the Miscellaneous Section (Other Goodies).  Go read it.  NOW!

4/27/00:   The Imperium Arsenal is finally up.  I'll probably be tweaking it over the next... oh... nine thousand years or so.  Go check it out.  Enjoy.

4/25/00:  CLICK HERE TO SEE SPOOFE'S 18" PENIS!!!

4/24/00:   Put up another interesting splurge in the Writings section.  Give it a read.   By the way... tomorrow, my younger brother and younger sister will be GONE for a week... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  It makes me happy.

4/23/00:   I'm almost done with the Imperium Arsenal (huzzah, huzzah).  Plus, I finally have some material to add to the "Miscellaneous" section ("Other Goodies").  Finally, I added four "new" poems today... I actually wrote them last year (Spring '99), but found 'em today, so I added 'em.  Three of them use the word "hypocrisy"... back then, hypocrites pissed me off (they still do, but I'm not nearly as anal about it).

4/20/00:   I'll refrain from making a 420 reference... oops, too late.  Anyway, I added a new poem, a preliminary "Miscellaneous" page (though there's nothing up yet... so far, everything that I've added has belonged in a category), and two new links.   And, no, I haven't gotten stoned.  However, I have scratched my nuts a lot (a shorn scrotum feels nice, all right, but it itches up a storm when the pubes start comin' back... where's the Nair?).  I also added a couple of new faces to the Imperium Allies section.

4/16/00:   Nothing much updated... I got my slimy claws on a whole new pile of pictures for the Roster.  Not all of them are up, though... I can only have two up at a time for each person.  Anyway, I dunno what I'll put up next... it's been a slow week, and I've been on a downward spiral for the past week.

4/12/00:   One more writing tacked to my ever-growing wall.  Read it, read it... obey me... I am your master... bater... oops, nevermind.

4/11/00:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEN!!!

4/9/00:   Added another installment to the Archive.  Unfortunately, my efforts to dig up the original have proven unsuccessful.  Damn the electric fence!  Damn the--* nevermind.

4/8/00:  I uploaded another writing in the... well... Wrtings section.  It's not new, but I re-discovered it today (I had forgot that I wrote it... you know how it is).  I also wrote a brand-new personal essay and uploaded that, as well (so, in total, there's two new additions to the Writings section).  And I added a couple new photos to the Roster.  Hmm... what else... oh, yeah!  My new lil' buttons, over there to the left.  I like my buttons.  They're so buttony.

4/7/00:   Added a link to the fledgling Archive.  There's a shitload of stuff in the Archive that I need to type up and upload, but for now, I just have a couple of lists that are quite enjoyous.  Plus, I put a few more paragraphs into the "Me" section.   Oh, and I created my handy-dandy marquee up there, the purpose of which is to provide some amusing quotes from Imperium agents to the world at large!  Yay!

4/6/00:   Uploaded "The Adventures of SPOOFE and Spooge Episode V" (yes, it's finally finished!!).  Now I need a new project to work on.  Oh, I know!  Now I can begin "Episode VI"!  If anyone has any suggestions for plot lines, lemme know, 'cuz I'm drained... in more ways than one.

4/5/00:   Uploaded a couple "new" pictures (they're not really new-new, they're just new in terms of this website).  Oh, and I added Ronnie and Danielle to the Imperium Roster (they're agents of the Imperium whether they want to be or not).   That's not really news for today, but I forgot to post up that little tidbit of information when I did add them.  Go look at Ronnie's picture.  She's beautiful.

4/3/00:   Uploaded twenty new pictures of starships I drew for a friend.  They're in the Starship Section in the art gallery.

4/2/00:   Added more photos to the Roster (it's really kickin' in there, folks!!!   Woo-doggy!)  And I updated the Drawings section... there're now brief descriptions of each piece of art.  Aren't y'all lucky?

3/30/00:   Added some photos to the Roster (just me, Chris, Kia, and Flip, not a whole lot), and did a little twinkling around with the Me section.  Also, I began work on some buttons for the menu on the left hand side of the screen.  Oh, my thought of the day... American Psycho.  I think we've had enough "American" whatevers for the time being, don't you?  And it doesn't even look that good.

3/28/00:  No update today, but I just wanna let the world know (yeah, right, like anyone's foolish enough to come here) that I'm not quite dead, sir.  But I'm rushing to finish another short story... Episode V of The Adventures of SPOOFE and Spooge, a tale about the shindigs of the WWF.  I just finished a scene where Stone Cold Steve Austin beats the crap out of Homer Simpson.

3/24/00:   Wow... two updates in a row... I haven't done that in a while.  Maybe I'm getting ill.  Anyway, who cares?  I added a couple other stories today, one that needed extensive editing before it could be uploaded, and the other that needed... well... an ending.  If I'm lucky (and overcome my Writer's Block), I'll finish Episode V of The Adventures of SPOOFE and Spooge.  If I can do that, then I'd be capable of creating Episode VI... and then, the Prequels!!  Also posted up another addition to my Writings section.

3/23/00:   After much laziness, complaining, and masturbation, I dug around through my old files and uploaded three of my short stories, thus bringing into being my Stories section.   I've also resolved to finish up two other shorts, and will eventually upload those also.  And, as I hope you can see above, I put up a Guestbook (actually, I put it up last update... but I forgot to mention it).  I also added a bit more to the "About Me" section, a blathering about the Four Faces of myself.

3/16/00:   Put up the Imperium Roster.  Saw Jesus Christ:  Superstar at my old High School again (amazing show, very fun).  Oh, yeah, I also had my man-breasts fondled by another guy.  Seems like a full day.

3/14/00:   Added the Links (as I said I would).  I'm still waiting for word from Ronnie about getting rid of those damn pop-ups, but, well, it's not like a lot of people come to this site.  Well, give it time, give it time... I've got all the time in the world... be patient... be patient... ::huddles against wall, clutching teddy bear, mumbling to self::

3/13/00:  I had an audition today... went well... I had fun... anyway, I finally uploaded a huge number of poems (thirty!!), so that's taken care of.  Also had an argument with a rash, hot-tempered friend, but that's no big deal.  Anyway, expect a Links section soon... also, with the help of my ingenius (and quite beautiful) friend Ronnie, I will soon banish those damned Tripod pop-ups!!!  Hahahahaha-a-a-a!!!

3/8/00:   I've put up a cartload of drawings today.  Later tonight I should add some poetry and a couple other writings.  Other things on the schedule:  A story section, a links section (I know some pretty wacked-out websites), and an Imperium Roster, giving a description of my own little pseudo-government.

Oh yeah, I know that little Tripod pop-up is insanely annoying... I'll fiddle around with that when I care.  Uh... rather... if I care.

3/7/00:   Well, after much annoyance, headache, and slothfulness (a quality that I'm damn proud of... to hell with the Seven Deadly Sins!!), I finally got some semblance of a site up.  I'm pretty sure that I've figured out both Tripod and Frontpage, although Tripod is kind of weenie-ish.  Oh, like I give a crap... who's going to ever check out this place aside from the criminally bored and the criminally insane?